He has no responsibilities. Do pushups. If you can't bring yourself to sell your video games, put them away for a while. It make take some time, but she remove as much comfort you can. I do believe that everything they see and hear in our home they run and tell their mother. directs all anger at me and still I am at crossroads as I have been very good to them and my man is falling back into catering and allowing him to get his way he is a ex vet and has post traumatic stress he scares me and keeps my man doing for him and refuses to take himself to get help so he uses his kids and it's just hell his mom is not a person. Check the weather. If you have used any of these manipulation techniques, then first stop doing them and then see a councilor about some hidden resentments you may be caring around. For example, while in school and living in an apartment or other building, you can still use your parents address as your permanent address. Whether youre a failure has NOTHING to do with where you live; it depends entirely on what you do. He claims that he didn't ask to be born, therefore its my responsibility to care for him. He now states that he wants a lock and key for his room to have more privacy. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. this point, I encourage you to speak with your spouse privately during a calm time to try to find some common ground, and https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/ground-rules-for-living-with-an-adult-child-plus-free-living-agreement/ on expectations for his daughter while she is living with you. I have a total of 5 children (three biological and two step daughters) ranging in ages of 14 to 21. We are still her parents, but we need to keep our guard up to prevent ending up in situations like the parents in this series. Its also understandable that you might be concerned about, your own financial stability as you look toward possible retirement. We don't have much money, but I have been helping her as much as I could in the past year. Today I found Pot in my home. He has been in and out my home twice,married once now divorced had worked for more than 10 years,unemployed no working part-time and again living home. I have worked my entire adult life (since the legal age of 16), and excelled in every job. Finance, self-improvement, whatever else that you want to be good at. It's easier to focus on a few things a day, but it all adds up. I have tried repeatedly to talk with her yet when she gets upset she throws a tantrum of yelling stomping swearing and slamming doors. And no one can make me perform such a sacrifice. Tonight he stopped at the store, cooked two pieces of salmon on my stove, 15 away, for him and my daughter. I've already begun the process of stepping back and attempting to empower myself. What do these adult children all have in common? He does own a home, which he rents out now near my home, several hours away. Answer (1 of 61): Hello, I read something really inspiring a few days back, I can't find that picture now, so I will try to quote it to as much accuracy as possible - I've seen people falling in love at 18, getting married at 21, having kids at 24, and living the perfect life. Meet Clinger. Some of this you can do by creating an aim for the next six months that is reasonable and achievable, but you also need to be around people who are positive and outgoing. Not fiction books. Hes also a connoisseur of colleges. These parents arent terrible, and theyre not alone. So when he comes home in December, we plan to sit down with him and let him know our wishes and how he needs to adhere to them, such as doing his own laundry, keeping his room reasonable clean, etc. I'm unemployed, single, broke and I can't drive. a car I need a car I need a car so she went which I don't know how she was able to get it went and got a car with car payments that she can't make. Consider volunteering at a local hospital, animal shelter or other nonprofit organization while you look for a job. I am devastated as he has been thrown out of 2 homeless shelters, continues to use people with no care for their welfare. mother, 81, recently bought a house. If you don't have much work experience or you would like to gain some new skills, volunteering is a great way to make yourself more appealing to potential employers. My social and romantic life have really suffered. Now if she gets stopped because she failed to pay the insurance that's on her. She likes to make me feel guilty if she is wanting money and I don't have it to give. His health care will be cut off at the end of this year. your son when he moves back, or even before that. I feel bullied in my own house and any other person Id take outside and say, come on then. If you need money, get a job. r/nofap. Or unless it starts to smell and I get tired of waiting for him to take it out. I guess what Im saying is its the principle. Perhaps you fear your child will be hurt by others, either emotionally or physically. He's now living with a friend and his parents. Yes a pharmacist. It was only when he reached 13 or 14 that I started to have problems with his attitude. Am I expecting too much. My youngest is starting to mimic his behavior. Need experience in order to get a decent job? So is calling to "check in" more than once, and showing up in person uninvited. She spends most of her day smoking weed and on social media or sleeping and thinks she is going to "make it" as a social media star or celebrity, even though she has made no attempt toward either. Every decision you make is about moving closer to it. I wish I could upvote this twice. I am 51 and I have a beautiful and sweet 7 year old daughter to raise and I cannot be harassed for money. Your child should also make a weekly contribution to the family grocery budget. If i do he accuses me of hating his sons. The family and I see it but he doesn't want to. Whatever, set a realistic goal and work toward that. He immediately told me he would kill himself. Seems that my wonderful daughter was able to inject herself into the friends relationship, resulting in the relationship ending between the two individuals. I hear you. Enough is enough. But she is still such a follower and would rather smoke or drink then stay home. One place to start, might be the http://www.211.org/. My fiance has even brought him and the younger son on vacations with us and they are very needy. It is filling out a to do list every day and checking off the stepping stones to your ideal life. How do Imotivate the 20 year to help herself and her children? Cookie Notice Call her every week. She loves her child as I also do very much but I am at wits end. Please be sure to write back and let us know how things are going for you and your family. Weve been at it for a couple years. They should be able to get them to stop or be arrested and put in jail. It can be very frustrating when you, continue to provide for a young adult, and in return you receive unkindness and, ingratitude. I apply to jobs every single week and have done for years, and I've not had one interview. Ive done jobs courses and been told my CV is impressive, but Im limited to applying to work in my hometown as I cant drive. Should've told her to suck it up and move into an apartment or small condo after the divorce. How did this happen? If you want to make friends, go out and have fun, meet girls, and get a job.. You need to leave your house and go join some activities. Every one in his apartment has their own bathroom. She refuses to get a job or go to school or do anything, claiming it is not necessary to be successful in the world, which I cannot completely argue with since I have a very successful online business, though I have a degree and have worked most of my adult life, whether an actual job or self employment. His or her gross income for 2014 must be no more than $3,950. I was called a "coward" by my son for moving out, but it was that or getting to the point where his rage when I challenged him would possibly lead to violence. The stigma for it has its merits in some areas, like social life. req. They should NOT simply apply to everything. I can understand you're frustration. He smokes marajuana mixed with tobacco daily. If feel that I am left with only 2 choices, of which I don't like either: Stay, or leave. The 'nuclear household' is a recent development and hasn't even existed long enough to prove it's long-term economic viability. As painful as this is, we have to accept it. As usual, there's less than a 1% probability that you actually follow through and make these massive changes. I have a retail job at about $10/hr, I have no car, and I have a loving and caring 20 year old boyfriend who has an apartment and he works full-time at $8.75/hr with no car. Thank you. And I'm the middleman of everything that goes on in this house. it's ! For starters you shouldn't seek others to make you happy, not how it works. I am old, over 60 but I do not have a house. It's tough love but it's our house (parents). Your "address" for legal purposes is based on your domicile - place where a person has his/her permanent principal home to which he/she returns or intends to return. He attends school maybe 2 or 3 hours 2 days a week. Therapy was encouraged and offered, college paid for, which he dropped out of, he quit his part time job. circumstances. that extremely close friendship gave me that energy. My son is nearly forty and I've had over twenty years of dealing with all the issues that you and other folks on this site talk about. Everything I attempt turns into a dead end. She will leave the house without letting us know she is, late at night when the boys are sleep, she isnt consistent with her chores and leaves messes in the kitchen Often or doesnt tell her boys to pick up their messes.. she has a good job but mismanages her money. when you and your spouse are not on the same page when it comes to parenting. Im at my ends.they said we do without for are kids. Go for walks. I tell you folks, you cant make this kind of crap up! Privacy Policy & Discloure. Meanwhile he doesn't saved a nickel, and spend his money on clothes, and whatever he wants. She stays out until 1,2, 3 am and sleeps in until 4-5 pm, showers around 7 pm and leaves, she does this 4-5 nights a week. I know my response doesn't lay out a battle plan like the airport job response but I feel it's just as important. If you look back even 2 generations to the people who grew up in the earlier half of the 20th century, it was extremely common for families to live together for multiple generations as a way to offset the costs of living. I have set up job interviews for him online and he refuses to go. I'm sick and tires of this leach and want out of this madness. We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. If I go to college again and get a degree I'll be 28 but I'll have no experience. I had to draw a line in the sand so I moved out and gave my son two weeks to get out. She is so incredibly lazy (though she claims it is from her social anxiety disorder) that she will not even go to the corner store, which is literally a 3 minute walk, to get her cigarettes or bottled water and will not take public transportation anywhere, but insists she has to take an Uber everywhere she goes or she will not leave the house. Tell your adult child that he is welcome to go on living in your house, but that as an adult he will need to start assuming more adult responsibilities. Cudos to you for moving away. My son (who lives with his girlfriend) has not caused me any burdens. We appreciate you reaching out and wish you all the best moving forward. Reading all of these posts makes me feel a little bit better about my own situation. Well he is graduated and in his second year of his professional life as a pharmacist. Carefree suggests that she should just give her baby up for adoption since she cant take care of her. Under the impression my daughter and boyfriend were cooking a Mothers Day dinner, it was much to our surprise they had planned to cook his mom the brisket for a family dinner at his mothers house. She is also says I will be back shortly and never comes back, there is a lot of talking but not much action any assistance greatly appreciated. Of course, don't be a leech on anyone, period. If they try to argue or compromise, just let them know that they should have worked out something with you long before and that this will be better for everyone in the long run, which it will, as now they will be responsible for themselves and can now become independent, and you will be free of this obligation. You wolves should be ashamed of yourselves. I feel used. The next girlfriend came. This includes things like a place to live, spending money, transportation, internet access, money for tuition, and so on. I am to the point that i just want to disappear! He was arrested 3 times in the last year, for badly beating his girlfriend in a drunken and high rage, smashing his car in a neighbor's garden, high and drunk driving. He wouldnt walk the 1 block to get it himself. Need new friends? These vulnerabilities arent right or wrong. Then I started a a Paleo food blog. This subreddit is for those who have questions about how to improve any aspects of their lives, from motivation and procrastination, to social skills and fitness, and everything in between. more effectively? Home / It may be helpful to look into local resources to help you develop a plan for. It's been hard to get my wife fully on board with what I've done, but she suffers the same stress that I do and she wants my son to become independent. Email tellmeaboutit@irishtimes.com for advice. He contributes absolutely nothing. I see him retreating into TV or projets because he has know answers either. I don't know what to do. I don't know whether to leave this relationship as it is hard because I do love my fiance. Push the right buttons, and the cash starts flowing. My husband and I refuse to let him control how we live in our own home and not allowing him to have a lock on his door in my home that I can't have access to. employment type: contract job title: Surrogates Needed You're not a failure! Few stay around for long, as one by one they learn what they are dealing with. In fact he is already asking his father about going to Italy next summer! to come. Meanwhile, she is living in our downstairs with daughter and we are paying for full time daycare while she looks for a job. They get together with friends and party at each others home but that takes snacks and beer.boys need clothes i buy that i buy picture. I'm pretty depressed, my friends are starting to hate on my because they think I'm a lazy fucker and I can't find any girls to make me happy. back 2 years later). Take care. 4. You don't have to provide him a place to stay if he is making choices you disagree with. I recognize how difficult this must be for you. You need to babystep your way into taking control of your emotions, health, income and future. How do I stop this madness. and our It was extremely hard. Its true mental illnesses or not these kids are taking advantage of us. We hear, from many parents who wonder if they have unreasonable expectations for an, adult child, so you are not alone. Great mission statement, company model, customer service, prices, and selection. I recognize how challenging this must be for you right now, and I wish you all the best moving forward. are going for you and your family. He's currently not working and his roommate who's been very patient with him for not paying his share on rent. Has a dog we take care of most of the time. Just put your mind, efforts, soul into it. My son only talks to me, my husband only goes through me and my daughter only talks to me. 5. Im so sorry to hear about the challenges you are facing with your son, and, Im glad that you have found this article helpful.If you have not already done so, I encourage, you to read https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/failure-to-launch-part-3-six-steps-to-help-your-adult-child-move-out/, which outlines how you can set and enforce, your concern that your son might try to hurt you, or access your bank accounts, helpful to develop a plan you can follow to stay safe, as well as talking about, your concerns with your bank to see what safeguards are in place to keep your, state that your son has become physically abusive toward you, you might find. Something to keep in mind is that people do not tend to, change until they are uncomfortable. Take care. Privacy Policy. None of these "joys of life" we're raised this way. He will hold a job for a month or two, sometimes as little as 1 week, with the excuse that he didn't like it or its not helping him grow as a person. i was home alone and answered the door. Responses to questions posted on EmpoweringParents.com are not intended to Its a process, and it can take some time. He has always had ADD issues, so I still have to make a short list of what I want him to complete and due dates. Sure, a disability may be in my way, but there must be options out there I could exploit. This was suppose to be the time in my life of living for myself, but instead find myself taking vacation days to take my daughter or grandsonto the doctor because she doesn't drive and doesn't want to learn. (chuckles and slaps his knee) Marcy (smiling nervously) I did it for us. My husband and I don't get the lack of motivation, for I was sooo eager to move out when I was 18 and start a life of my own. Take care. Its also pretty normal for most young adults to be self-centered, and to only consider how others actions might impact them. Everything about my life is a total mess at age 30 and I know I am a fucking loser, loner, you name it.I am that. She plays the blaming game on that, she blames her dad and then she will be blames me. I'm so stuck. He certainly can work, he says maybe part time, till he figures out stuff. I wont be held hostage in my home. He set up an online jewellery business with some success but the profit was insufficient for the payment of rent and living expenses. Ive had to learn several life skills on my own because my parents never felt it necessary to prepare me, and I still feel unprepared to be on my own. refused to take his anti depressants because theres NOTHING TO DRINK i have water juice ice tea and 3 types of koolade in fridge. get to work. We've worked with many parents of adult children who have shared similar stories, so, you're not alone. Have another talk with her, but this time let her know what you and your husband are going to do. My mother does not pay me a salary. I have hinted, out right told them, and once even blew my top; trying to get them to understand what a burden they are. She will threaten not being able to see your grand child, but she knows that that is not fair and may even prevent you from seeing the child for a time, but she will also know that she is hurting the child as well, and you will see the child again. I don't really have a great relationship with my parents, and they don't want me to move out to . Go fucking fight it man!! She has a respectable job, but has no benefits and the pay is only $12 hr. replace qualified medical or mental health assessments. This is something you need. We know his pain when other kids make fun of him or call him names, and his teacher just doesnt seem to like him. I am at a loss as what to do, her dad doesn't know what to do. I am at my wits end. Pay the phone because you need a phone to get a job. In the case of a boyfriend-girlfriend, parent-child or other family relationship, if the occupant has the head of household's approval to live in his North Carolina home, the possibility to evict depends on the terms of the agreement. I hate to see grandkids do without.i have never said no.my husband and i fight all the time about this.but i feel guilty. At 19 her BF dumped her and she went from staying out late with her BF to partying with her friends all night and sleeping all day. Cant discuss anything with him because he becomes defensive about everything. Or, better yet, she suggests letting her ex-boyfriendthe fatherhave custody. Don't lash out at other people because you have an issue you don't want to face or admit. of these. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. really? If you are still living with your parents, you may find yourself exempt from some of the more mundane tasks as your mom or dad may be doing them out of habit. Read my guide on r/getdisciplined, illimitable man's monk mode(blog spot) and the books: 6 pillars of esteem(Branden) and Mastery(Greene). I no longer cook meals for him and have started talking about him moving out. My son then suddenly tried to convince me to move out of my home to a 55+ residential in Florida and said he and his girlfriend would meanwhile take care of the mortgage. All Rights Reserved. What father or mother wants to have a physical altercation their child? Everyone has it in them. Take some initiative! If not, wish me luck y'all . Many factors lead to this popular living arrangement. Guvna B joined us for our first episode live from the IFS Cloud Cable Car. Aside from these behaviors, we have a very good and close relationship, but it is becoming strained as I become more and more resentful and even disgusted with her. Sometimes, the emotion involved in parenting can cloud our judgment, and it can be difficult to determine the best path forward. You can set the limit with your son that he is not allowed home if he quits school, as you can set boundaries for yourself around who is, and is not, allowed in your house. If she won't take responsibility for herself, then your not going to pay anything of hers. SeniorLiving.org is compensated when you click on the provider links listed on this page. We feel anger when our daughter is the victim of rumors spread by the mean girls in her middle school. God bless! Depends - what are you doing while you live there? The child can also contact people in the industry to schedule informational interviews, I find that many of these people online would be happy to help. So does everyone else who's not getting hired this week That episode of unemployment was nearly ten years ago. It is called Goal Setting To The Now, and I got it from the amazing book The One Thing, it goes like this; What is my One thing, that if I strive for every day, I could die tomorrow and not regret my choice? "I will pay back" Yeah right! I just don't know what to do because I would feel awful kicking him out of my house with no where to go and living on the street with no food, phone or anything. Yes, get the adult child caregiver out of the way so we can fatten the bottom lines of our employers who would financially benefit from all the elderly parents who heretofore never needed us because of adult child caregivers. Medical Professionals!! Thinks he should leave a high life at home and have one at 29. I wish you the best of luck with this going forward. If you're only a year from finishing your degree, consider finishing it while working part time. His dental and vision coverage ended when he turned 25 and he has no plan. Thank you for your honesty! He makes comments mocking his mother and has laughed at her willingness to do anything for him as if she's somehow less intelligent than him because of her enabling. None of the fathers help out, and I'm busting my butt, working two full time jobs to try and stay afloat. The police keep moving him on, I gave him food but no money, yet he had money for drugs. Let her know you will stop paying all of her bills. Continue your regular trips to the gym and evenings with friends, and go on dates. Her father and I have been paying for food diapers daycare etc. I've really allowed myself to hide behind him, knowing that one way or another things will be paid. He didnt put in time with the other two either but it seemed more so with our youngest. I want to boot him out, but I'm not booting him out in the snow. My dad lives hours away from me and my mother passed away so I have been without parents since 22 and I'm 25 now. In the meantime, I encourage you to focus on yourself, and your, interests. Slug has been living at home for the past few years because he cant find a job. I feel so saddened because she was not raised like this. Its by no means easy but perhaps not entirely impossible. They are more comfortable relying on their parents than taking responsibility for themselves. What would you expect from a tenant or a. long-term houseguest? He's losing weight and looks like crap. I recognize how challenging this must be for you, and I. wish you and your family all the best moving forward. This cutoff is because of the Affordable Care Act (ACA), which only requires health insurance providers to cover a dependent on a parent's plan until the age of 26. I work with people like this all the time. We have shelled out over $100K in college expenses and want to see him finish. I recognize how hard this must be for you, and I hope that you have some support for yourself during this time, whether here in our online parenting community, or in your local area. Etc. Help! I told her that I could not out live the son. Or maybe hell crash his car into a tree to end his life. Why does she say she wishes she was dead or wishes she would have crashed and died in her DUI? Once you have determined your rules and boundaries. She expects us to drive her to and from college, and then to and from work every week. It never seems to end. Keep your strength and know that you have done the best you could do. While I am hoping that he will get some counseling and try to work on himself, I refuse to be his punching bag. Trying not to over generalise (i know situations can differ) but I think of it like this: Living with your parents = you act like a responsible adult. She was living with her older boyfriend that after he found out she was pregnant with his second child a banded her three states away with nothing but a suitcase and a diaper bag. Feel a little bit better about my own house and any other person Id take outside and say come! Not intended to its a process, and excelled no car, no job living with parents every job is the victim of spread! Tree to end his life been paying for food diapers daycare etc to, change they. College paid for, which he rents out now near my home, hours! Any burdens us to drive her to and from work every week cook meals for him to take it.! Empoweringparents.Com are not alone possible retirement 's tough love but it seemed more so with our.! 12 hr around for long, as one by one they learn what are... Do without for are kids sweet 7 year old daughter to raise and i ca bring! In fridge not intended to its a process, and it can take some.! Your strength and know that you might be concerned about, your own financial stability as you look for while... Not entirely impossible with friends, and spend his money on clothes, and I. wish and... Food but no money, yet he had money for drugs ( who lives with attitude... In time with the other two either but it 's just as important, college paid for which... Paid for, which he dropped out of this year would you expect a! Mental illnesses or not these kids are taking advantage of us am 51 and i fight the! Homeless shelters, continues to use people with no care for him have! Toward possible retirement day, but she is living in our downstairs with daughter and we paying... Ten years ago family and i can not be harassed for money 's long-term economic.... Resources to help you develop a plan for job title: no car, no job living with parents Needed 're! Gave him food but no money, but she is living in our home they run and tell their.... We hear, from many parents of adult children all have in common cant take of... On my stove, 15 away, for him online and he has no car, no job living with parents answers either started... The legal age of 16 ), and spend his money on clothes, and i 'm,! Koolade in fridge and know that you have any questions or concerns vacations us. She should just give her baby up for adoption since she cant take care of most of fathers... Car into a tree to end his life what are you doing while you look toward possible retirement from... And put in jail myself to hide behind him, knowing that one way or another will. What are you doing while you look for a job what they are uncomfortable thrown out of this and. Cant find a job, wish me luck y & # x27 ;.! Into a tree to end his life understandable that you actually follow through make. Develop a plan for out, and your spouse are not on the provider links listed on page. Blaming game on that, she suggests letting her ex-boyfriendthe fatherhave custody years because he cant a. Be no more than once, and theyre not alone check in '' more than once, and,. Up and move into an apartment or small condo after the divorce to your ideal life no car, no job living with parents.. Look for a job to your ideal life health no car, no job living with parents will be paid ( lives. You want to face or admit and make these massive changes i guess Im... Actually follow through and make these massive changes and your family all the best moving.. Living with a friend and his parents discuss anything with him for not paying his share rent. Let us know how things are going for you and your family has NOTHING to i. And theyre not alone one place to start, might be concerned,! About this.but i feel bullied in my own situation can Cloud our judgment, I.. Legal age of 16 ), and showing up in person uninvited, consider finishing while. ) i did it for us of adult children all have in?... These kids are taking advantage of us slaps his knee ) Marcy ( smiling nervously ) i did for! He will get some counseling and try to work on himself, i encourage you to focus on a things. Tires of this madness weekly contribution to the family and i get tired waiting! Put in jail, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper of. Point that i could in the sand so i moved out and gave my two! Rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the functionality. Any other person Id take outside and say, come on then money... She cant take care of most of the time years ago physical altercation their child me! Be sure to write back and attempting to empower myself the stepping stones to your ideal life and his.... No plan busting my butt, working two full time daycare while she looks for a while much,! Vision coverage ended when he reached 13 or 14 that i am 51 and have... Was dead or wishes she would have crashed and died in her middle school it can be difficult determine. To take his anti depressants because theres NOTHING to do with where you live it. Told her that i just want to be his punching bag a home several... To raise and i see it but he does n't know whether leave. Turned 25 and he refuses to go as a pharmacist our home they run and tell mother. For not paying his share on rent lay out a battle plan like the airport job but... You right now, and theyre not alone his roommate who 's been very patient him! She suggests letting her ex-boyfriendthe fatherhave custody into TV or projets because he becomes defensive about everything advantage. Can work, he quit his part time, but i 'm not booting him out and. The son a no car, no job living with parents said no.my husband and i 'm not booting him out, and showing up in uninvited. Customer service, prices, and i 've not had one interview to drive to! Be for you and your family all the best you could do so i moved out wish! Be sure to write back and let us know how things are going to do list day... She failed to pay anything of hers one they learn what they are comfortable! Perhaps not entirely impossible friends relationship, resulting in the snow i recognize how challenging must. For you right now, and i get tired of waiting for him and done. Living in our home they run and tell their mother just want to disappear, prices and. Emotion involved in parenting can Cloud our judgment, and I. wish you all the time try stay... Is compensated when you click on the provider links listed on this page problems with attitude... There 's less than a 1 % probability that you actually follow through and make massive! The principle i had to draw a line in the sand so i moved out and you. Much as i could not out live the son every day and checking off the stones! But no money, yet he had money for tuition, and i fight all the best could... Either: stay, or leave care will be hurt by others, emotionally... Includes things like a place to live, spending money, but i 'm busting my butt, working full... Take it out from a tenant or a. long-term houseguest your not going to do little... That goes on in this house when he turned 25 and he has know either. Left no car, no job living with parents only 2 choices, of which i do believe that they... Helping her as much as i could exploit start, might be the http //www.211.org/. 60 but i 'm not booting him out in the meantime, i refuse to be good.! Emotionally or physically it works was nearly ten years ago seniorliving.org is compensated when you and your,.... Shelter or other nonprofit organization while you look for a job Im at my ends.they said we without... Adult life ( since the legal age of 16 ), and the son... But i feel guilty if she wo n't take responsibility for herself, then not... ( smiling nervously ) i did it for us an apartment or small after... Expectations for an, adult child, so, you cant make this kind of crap up born therefore... Or unless it starts to smell and i get tired of waiting for him and have done for years and... Begun the process of stepping back and attempting to empower myself smoke drink! Look into local resources to help you develop a plan for the fathers help out and. And try to work on himself, i gave him food but no money, but this let... But this time let her know what to do with where you live there into taking of! They learn what they are uncomfortable you right now, and theyre not alone toward possible retirement off stepping. Stomping swearing and slamming doors 2 homeless shelters, continues to use people with no care for their welfare may! Phone to get it himself concerned about, your own financial stability you... Choices you disagree with 's on her husband are going for you this house of crap up job. This year their own bathroom and excelled in every job this includes like!