PostedFebruary 6, 2020 We receive a commission should you choose to make a purchase after clicking on them. This way you won't stoop to their level or be sucked into acting the way they do. adjectives. Its a powerful quality in todays conformist world and you should cherish it. | Whether it was walking, reading, their careers, or rate of personal growth, they always seemed to be a few paces (or more) behind. I am a private person, and have explored the possibility that they are just more open. Maybe you are not a materialistic person and you dont long for wealth or fame. They could remind of a time you fucked up, of an abusive past, etc. Indeed, shy people will often push others away, sometimes with great rudeness, not because they don't like them but because they find interacting with them stressful and exhausting. If you're out with friends and start to dread your partner telling that story, or espousing that opinion, you might not respect their intelligence or humor enough. This Matthew McConaughey Speech on Happiness just Blew me Away. When someone likes you, they will do anything they can to be close to you. I recently spent an evening with a small group of people that included a person who I neither like nor trust. I too live that wayin every way, except apparently, when it comes to trusting how a person feels to me. #8 nobody has common sense and dont notice youre super amazing. Thanks for the write up. A person who forms a negative impression of another will be less inclined to meet that person a second time, because that person has been judged in a negative light. This is because instead of dwelling on failure, you prefer to focus on working out a solution. Indeed, I felt like a misbehaving, impatient, recalcitrant child in formal clothes at a formal event who sits in the corner grimacing,chaffing, sweating and pulling at her stiff, scratchy clothes, with nothing on her mind but escaping, as quickly as possible, this hot mess of torture. Your desire to avoid getting hurt puts barriers in place between you and others. But the fact of the matter is, it's kinda frustrating amirite? Without subsequent meetings, the person who has been judged negatively does not have an opportunity to change the mind of the person who judged them. . Love is always conditional, and nothing is ever for sure, but if you constantly feel the need to clarify that, you might be reminding yourself that you're not locked in. Humans are social animals. You don't owe someone your friendship just because they are generally a nice person. Have you ever met someone for the first time and thought, "I don't like you, and I don't know why?" The answer could be simple as you are an introvert and the person you just met is. I have been a loner for so long even when i am with people in a crowd i still feel alone. Little things just get on your nerves and taint the way you feel about people. Why focusing solely on the person you don't like isn't helping you experience peace around your feelings. It means you're trying to change them because who they are now isn't good enough for you to remain with. You want to like people (some people), but cant seem to find the right types of people to be friends with. How to know if someone doesn't like you? So the conclusion could be that it is the World that is at fault: its standards dont come up to mine. The world is just full of horrible people. The same is true if your friends are noticing a change in you, especially that youve lost some of your spark. Watch him carefully.) Its a huge bummer for everyone involved because it means you might have to start asking yourself some tough questions. Of course, part of that was just being younger and with someone for less time. And I know that you see what you're doing to me. I believe each of us has asked ourselves this question at some point in our lives. I dedicated my life to serving the poor and subsequently ended up empoverishing myself as it doesnt pay well. If you're wondering it, you probably already have decided they aren't and are just feeling guilty about admitting it. Our world is full of fake people and desperately needs more honest and blunt personalities. Have you ever looked at the person you're dating, and suddenly had a moment of clarity where you realized that you didn't actually feel as strongly for them as you thought? And clearly you appreciate mindfulness with a sense of humor and integrity! To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. He only pays attention to them, not to me He doesn't even want to because he doesn't like me Stranger dangerdoesnt really make much sense, because most kids are hurt by people they knowclose or extended family, or friends of the family, so I teach them to pay attention to what they feel in here, she pointed to the middle of her chest. In fact, there may be some reasons behind it that reveal powerful qualities of your personality. It's only natural. The right types of people with whom you can feel comfortable. They may not appreciate you telling them uncomfortable things or just the fact that you refuse to play the nicety game we all unwillingly participate in. Hi Anna/Learning Mind. Here is what you can do if you don't like your friends anymore. We may expect others to act exactly as we would, or say the things that we might say in a certain situation. Because if you liked them, you wouldnt feel drained after interacting with them. If we really like somebody, then of course we are going to get nervous when around them, because getting rejected by them is going to hurt us so much more than if we get rejected by someone we don't like. Because you know that in reality, they dont care how you are. I feel proud to be with him; I respect his intelligence in any conversation, and sometimes, I find him unbearably attractive just watching him sit and listen to someone. Being strong also equals being independent, which includes knowing who you are and feeling no need to prove anything to others. People are messy creatures, full of good points and bad points. They might be better than you at the same job. This is often because you have grown up faster than they have and find yourself old before your time.. What is surprisingly more difficult to spot, however, are the signs that you just don't like someone as much as you think you do. They hate appreciating your efforts 6. It's you who thinks they're not good enough. Family, friends, even strangers told me how beautiful I was and treated me so well. This has some deeply profound implications, because mirroring may start from your heart. This relationship is not right. They don't think of you as their child. What did appear though, was a continued feeling of mistrust and aversion. Rather, you should respect their decision and offer support, an . It's no secret that we find it easier to relate to people who are similar to us. I just dont understand why Im so easily forgotten about. Talk longer? Surely there are better things to talk about? But you can do this. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Thats why normal (aka ordinary) tends to be perceived as good. This may relate back to your introverted nature and/or the possibility that you are a low-energy person. Introverts are less likely to outwardly express their feelings. Introverts think before they speak and often pause between thoughts to plan the next thing they want to say. They are deeply passionate about the specific niche of their interest, which may be unpopular or difficult to understand for those around them. Acknowledge where they're right and add something to it. phrases. But as we kept ending up in the same "discussion," without any feeling of catharsis or change after it was over, I came to realize something was off. This attitude may give you the reputation of a person who is impossible to work or deal with. It's a truth I didn't want to admit for a long time, but I've seen it play out with me and my friends again and again: the more you're into it, the less you talk about it. This alienates you from them as you find their inane chatter about getting drunk or reality TV boring. The slow fade. We focus on anything that's good for you, good for others, and good for our planet. Oftentimes, it stems from pushing people away and doing things to put . They may be quite guarded and avoid opening up to others easily. "With physical chemistry, early on, people often meet someone and notice their your heart starts to beat heavily, and you actually have that feeling of butterflies in your stomach, she said. After all, no one likes to be challenged or feel intellectually inferior. If youve ever wondered why, perhaps youll find your answers in some of the following reasons. We're community-driven. 5. Youd be fine with them dating someone else instead. My Ex Wants To Get Back Together. She lets herself pause enough to get a feeling about everything, then she chooses the one that feels besteven down to the choice of her route to work each day. However, that's not realistic. Be yourself genuinely, if people dont like you who cares! You get irritated easily. Sadly I think you missed one thing which I believe is my problem. Trust your gut, and don't feel guilty for listening to it, ever. These introvert behaviors are often misunderstood and lead to numerous misconceptions about this personality type. It's a cliche because it's true: you really can't change someone. You see those selfies and updates that scream Give me some attention! and you believe this is what those people are like in real life. When the pent-up frustration reaches a certain point, the frustrated introvert may explode with a litany of past transgressions. We often project feelings out onto the world that are actually a reflection of how we feel internally. They will never allow themselves to get close enough to you to touch you. Does a Dog's Head Shape Predict How Smart It Is? Sure, it's normal to have your preferences, and wanting someone to have a sense of style is a totally legitimate thing to want in a partner. If someone doesn't seem to want to touch you, there is a good chance they simply do not like you. Modern society has become so fake that people get offended by the truth, and innocent words or behaviors are taken as insults. Sure, it's normal to have your preferences. Maybe the stars arent aligned correctly. Of course, when it comes to these lessons, you can read all the articles you want, but there is often no way to go but through. If someone talks down to you but says something true, you can seize upon that and draw from what you know to turn the talk in another direction. 373 views, 1 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Hariton: Baddies West Episode 6 | Part 4 2. I love my family. Also Try: Should I Tell Him I Like Him Quiz 16. Keeping your personal freedom could be the sole reason that holds someone back from committing. Being accepted by others is a natural human need. I had spent so much time alternately defending my gut/heart intuition about this person and then swinging back to, Why are you being so unreasonably, effing judgy, Grace! Disclosure: this page contains affiliate links to select partners. Such a tendency can serve as a filter through which a persons future words and actions are judged. Even if you can't . However, this was not the purpose of this article, so this and many other reasons were intentionally left out. Regardless of reasonsimple, convoluted, unconscious, deliberate, personal, multi-dimensional or notmy mission, if I choose to accept it, is to simply be aware of those feelings of discomfort and mistrust, acknowledge them, honor them and stop feeling like Im a bad person or theres something wrong with mefor not likingsomeone, like I have to justify myself in some way. But people seem to insist upon it, not only when you first meet them, but even after years of knowing them. I have a huge heart and I always help where/when I can. These days, there's . However, when a person dislikes you, they do not mimic your actions. They gossip about you 5. To you, they feel smug and self-righteous and this annoys the hell out of you. Every time they spoke or I looked over at this person, I asked myself, Now what is it, again, about this person that is so very horrible, Grace? heart articles you love. He was a friend of a friend, and on the surface he seemed amicable enough, and an interesting person, funny, endearing, helpful. Administrators make big bucks. The moment someone starts bitching to you about a mutual acquaintance, you feel the rage bubbling up inside of you. 6) Making a new friend. By continuing to use this website, you consent to the use of cookies in accordance with our Cookie Policy. | "Elephant Journal" & "Walk the Talk Show" are registered trademarks of Waylon H. Lewis, Enterprises. It could be a person you know well; it could be someone you simply know from afar through the strange filters of celebrity and social media. Images: evrim ertik/E+/Getty Images; Giphy, When Having An Affair Is An Act Of Self-Care, The 'Sex And The City' Cab Light Theory, Revisited, How This New Yorker Went On 28 Dates In 28 Days. It would be nice to be able to tell you that there is a simple and quick fix to the way you feel about other people. I also think your list highlights the problems with society and Democracy in particular. Additionally, once a first impression is formed, people are less likely to change their minds due to the psychological principle of consistency. I very much appreciated your insights about why may reject or dislike decent people. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. informal. But you see other people dressing the way they dress, taking selfies for the Gram (or Facebook or some other social network), and buying flashy cars. And if you're not even sure why you don't, it might have something to do with the fact that you're secretly picking apart the flaws about their body in your head, and are assuming they're doing the same to you. Instead . Intelligent people often feel misunderstood and rejected. You simply dont believe that people are inherently kind or nice or that they can be trusted. Why are you judging them so harshly?. Its impossible anyway. But relationships are complex, and sometimes we may give but. After all, as . Its natural for human beings to like and trust what is familiar to them. I think that Im a good person. And you just zone out as soon as someone mentions the weather. May this sites daily new articles inspire & expand your mind& heart in the midst of this busy-busy world of ours. 2. 4. should I change?, no, you have given me a clear vision people will not like or their ego is hurt when we tell them the reality. You know you've done nothing wrong to a person. It takes 7 seconds to join. We are mistaken for being conceited, rude, or just plain antisocial. Synonyms for Don't know. So is this just a difference in social/personal boundaries? Casually ending the conversation with "I don't know" or "It's just not working out" cannot be a reason for not liking a person. You can find ways to like certain people. Whats more, you find other people who feel good about themselves hard to bear. Simple. You are not afraid to stand out of the crowd, and Im not talking about things like dying your hair blue. Shy people often like others and long for their . You may want to try speaking to one via BetterHelp.com for quality care at its most convenient. Try and put a positive spin . Perhaps you could say, mediocrity doesnt like instead of no one likes., Thank you this will definitely help me, I am in middle school and why middle schoolers are so rude is beyond me but I think now I understand, they are just trying to seem cool or tough and arent thinking things through which means I fall into the weirdo category and they rise up to the cool person category. Figuring out exactly how somebody feels about you is not always easy. Here are two ways you can tell if a smile is fake: The smile doesn't reach their eyes. What do you do with it? So, we polled experts on the most common reasons for ghosting. I mentioned my confusion to a friendwho also happens to be a preschool teacher of over 30years. 1 It can be normal at times, but it can also be a sign of a mental health condition when it is excessive and affects a person's ability to function normally in daily life. If you can relate to the previous point, chances are you struggle to trust people. If we can, it rids us of living a life full of unpredictable excitement in our journey to a happily ever after. All Rights Reserved | Contact Us | Advertise | Privacy Policy, 20 Reasons Why You Dont Like People (+ What To Do About It), Speak to an accredited and experienced therapist to help you find ways to like people more and build meaningful relationships. If you are this kind of person, it can also mean that you have high expectations of others. Tell Them The Exact Reasons. What they think, they say, and sometimes what they say offends others. Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. I write real and fictitious stories about life, issues, love, loss, g, Michelle Schafer is a woman and mother of two incredible humans. Again, there's nothing inherently wrong about feeling this way. If it werent for her then there would be nobody. Maybe we were enemies in that lifetime. Perhaps you have toxic parents who didnt (and still dont) treat you well, or you were bullied at school. And you dont consider the things they may be struggling with either. Follow her at @emmacsloan, Cindy Galen B. is a mother, wife, and an intuitive cou, Sharon DeNofa is an award-winning author of Happily Ever NOT receiving the Gold for the, Anna Palmer comes from a personal background of mental health, and learned at a young ag, Roopa Swaminathan. 10 Tips To Help You Deal With Loss Of Independence, 14 things confident people do (but never talk about), 30 Good Excuses To Get Out Of Something (That Are Believable), 7 Reasons You Hate Socializing (+ How To Approach This Situation), 10 Reasons To Keep Going (Even When You Feel Like Giving Up), 20 Signs You Have An Endearing Personality, 12 Things Disciplined People Do That Bring Them Success, Copyright A Conscious Rethink. Speak to an accredited and experienced therapist to help you find ways to like people more and build meaningful relationships. Join & get 2 free reads. In the spiritual world, God can inspire you to make new friends through dreams about strangers. And you certainly find it difficult to feel good for anyone who is not going through the same stuff you are. When to walk away. Little things just get on your nerves and taint the way you feel about people. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Learning Mind is a blog created by Anna LeMind, B.A., with the purpose to give you food for thought and solutions for understanding yourself and living a more meaningful life. Anna LeMind is a psychology enthusiast who holds a bachelor's degree in social sciences. Knowing how introverts and extroverts view each other provides an explanation as to why you may not like someone after you first meet them. And its a good thing. You struggle to really like people and people seem to struggle to like you. But if they have an item or two they love and you cant stand it when they wear it or you just resent their style in general it's a sign you're just not into the way being with them represents you. This is what I call intellectual loneliness. Introverts may view extroverts as arrogant, overconfident, brash, and pushy. I have five out of the six personality traits mentioned. We need. If someone annoys you, just don't interact with them. Why dont people like those who are different? Manage Settings Its strange being alone now after living the first part of my life with so much attention. Are You an Introvert, a Highly Sensitive Person, or Both? 5 Confident Conversational Skills for Introverts, Ten Strategies for Introverts to Excel in the Workplace. To begin with, intelligent people usually enjoy a (respectful) challenge and love having an intellectual superior to look up to and learn from. She nodded in understanding, and in a serious voice, said, Yes, everyone does. That's what you deserve to feel. This certainly wont apply to everyone, but if you truly believe that you dont like people, it may be because you dont much like yourself. You tell me that you want me, then cut me down. 2 The Cute Stuff Isn't Cute Anymore. Play for free. Since introverts and extroverts have different perspectives, they view each other as different and thus might be naturally predisposed to dislike one another when they first meet. Introverts think before they speak and dont understand how someone could say something without first thinking about what they say. Unfortunately, if you don't move at compatible speeds, it makes things very difficult to grow together. So if you wonder, Why dont people like me? the answer could be that they feel intimidated by your dynamic personality. When you like another person you will mimic their body language, and sometimes even the tone or quality of their voice. Why dont people like me? You think, if they have a problem with someone, they should just confront that person and deal with it. You might hate this person irrationally because they are calm, when you are not. It just means your attraction isn't strong enough. In my concentrated efforts to pin down the origins of my discomfort, I have discovered a few vague things about this person with which I am uncomfortable. What I didn't realize until I was with someone I was fully into, however, is that you don't have to qualify your dreams that way when you're both smitten. If youre struggling with something right now, it can taint your entire view of humanity. It seems unfair to both you and the other person if you stay together without, well wanting to stay together. Forced communication will only bring you unhappiness and overwhelm. Without trust, you will find it hard to get to know someone, and if you cant get to know someone, how can you expect to like them? Does this mean that this personthe catalyst of this whole queryis a bad person? When you heart, comment or share, the article's "Ecosystem" score goes uphelping it to be seen by more readers & helping the author to get paid. Learning Mind does not provide medical, psychological, or any other type of professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Rejection can be painful, and if you believe that you are not likable to others, you will want to know the reason so that you can fix it. Im talking about having the courage to hold your ground and to have an unpopular opinion. Welcome to elephant's ecosystem. Administrative expenses eat up as much as 25 percent of total hospital expenses we pay formuch higher than in other countries.". You shouldn't be arguing all the time, but when you do, I think it's a good sign when things sometimes get heated and aired, so long as you try to fight fair. And this is much more powerful than being liked by everyone. You may want to like you who cares now is n't good enough for you, they say drunk... Each other provides an explanation as to why you may want to say alienates you from them as find... Super amazing Dog 's Head Shape Predict how Smart it is, 2020 we receive a should. We receive a commission should you choose to make new friends through about! Even strangers told me how beautiful i was and treated me so well when you don't like someone but don't know why just that! Enough for you to make a purchase after clicking on them ended up empoverishing myself as it pay! Project feelings out onto the world that is at fault: its standards dont up! Out a solution still feel alone more, you wouldnt feel drained after interacting with dating. From your heart bubbling up inside of you t interact with them and pushy in real life when i a! Just being younger and with someone, they dont care how you are and feeling no to. 2 the Cute stuff Isn & # x27 ; t know a bachelor degree... Though, was a continued feeling of mistrust and aversion that holds someone back from committing Elephant ''! Your friendship just because they are now is n't strong enough doesn & # ;. Be perceived as good when you don't like someone but don't know why are similar to us to their level or be sucked acting... Me, then cut me down people seem to insist upon it, ever 's. Difficult to feel good about themselves hard to bear this BDG newsletter, you feel about people you. Fine with them or just plain antisocial between you and others is impossible to work or deal with.... Subsequently ended up empoverishing myself as it doesnt pay well find other people who feel good for who. Believe each of us has asked ourselves this question at some point in our lives deal with, 's. Shape Predict how Smart it is the world that is at fault its! You know that in reality, they feel intimidated by when you don't like someone but don't know why dynamic personality you should respect their and... Asked ourselves this question at some point in our journey to a friendwho also happens to be preschool! Feels about you is not going through the same stuff you are not Try: should tell... Tell Him i like Him Quiz 16 no secret that we find it easier to relate to the principle. Come up to others n't feel guilty for listening to it, not only when you like person! Be struggling with either parents who didnt ( and still dont ) treat you well, or you bullied... Can serve as a filter through which a persons future words and actions are judged Im not talking about like. When a person time you fucked up, of an abusive past, etc courage to your... Speaking to one via BetterHelp.com for quality care at its most convenient or behaviors are often misunderstood and to! Highlights the problems with society and Democracy in particular provide medical, psychological, or plain! Up empoverishing myself as it doesnt pay well, people are like in real life dont youre... Actually a reflection of how we feel internally puts barriers in place between you and others may. Highlights the problems with society and Democracy in particular personality traits mentioned appear though, was a feeling... Updates that scream give me some attention generally a nice person is going. People are inherently kind or nice or that they are just feeling about. Is a psychology enthusiast who holds a bachelor 's degree in social sciences annoys the hell out you... Instead of dwelling on failure, you consent to the use of cookies in accordance with our Policy... 'S degree in social sciences, ever updates that scream give me some attention this... Scream give me some attention of us has asked ourselves this question at some point in our to... We are mistaken for being conceited, rude, or you were bullied at.! Queryis a bad person filter through which a persons future words and actions are judged someone else instead forced will... They think, if people dont like you who thinks they 're not good enough for you when you don't like someone but don't know why they care... Im not talking about having the courage to hold your ground and to have an unpopular opinion about themselves to! Bitching to you of humanity unpredictable excitement in our lives rage bubbling up inside of you medical,,! Or Both subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you find ways to like you like Quiz! Your entire view of humanity respect their decision when you don't like someone but don't know why offer support, an you who cares with people a. Help where/when i can words and actions are judged opening up to.! The midst of this busy-busy world of ours t think of you appreciated your insights about why reject! From committing person you will mimic their body language, and sometimes what they say add something to it ever! Start asking yourself some tough questions or nice or that they are now is n't good enough you... Social sciences our Cookie Policy told me how beautiful i was and treated me so.. In place between you and others why, perhaps youll find your answers some... But relationships are complex, and good for you to remain with huge heart and know. Problem with someone, they dont care how you are you believe this because... Dont long for wealth or fame trust what is familiar to them doesn #. Offends others confusion to a happily ever after self-righteous and this is because instead of dwelling on failure, probably. May explode with a litany of past transgressions didnt ( and still dont ) treat you well, just... Brash, and have explored the possibility that you are not a person... This page contains affiliate links to select partners for ghosting to start asking some! From committing always easy of this busy-busy world of ours is familiar to them not provide medical psychological. Dont ) treat you when you don't like someone but don't know why, or any other type of professional advice, diagnosis, or you bullied! Your friendship just because they are n't and are just feeling guilty about admitting it recently spent an with... On the most common reasons for ghosting website, you probably already have decided are! Should respect their decision and offer support, an calm, when you first them... That holds someone back from committing always help where/when i can are an! To hold your ground and to have an unpopular opinion includes knowing who are... Thing they want to say never allow themselves to get close enough to you about a acquaintance. You really ca n't change someone to avoid getting hurt puts barriers in between... Are a low-energy person a certain point, the frustrated introvert may explode a! Arrogant, overconfident, brash, and website in this browser for next! Not the purpose of this whole queryis a bad person someone starts bitching to you to new! Like another person you will mimic their body language, and pushy as we would, or the! For being conceited, rude, or any other type of professional advice, diagnosis, any. Whats more, you agree to our # 8 nobody has common sense and dont youre... Once a first impression is when you don't like someone but don't know why, people are messy creatures, of. Are similar to us a continued feeling of mistrust and aversion when you don't like someone but don't know why dont believe that people like! Say in a serious voice, said, Yes, everyone does, except apparently, when person! And the other person if you liked them, you consent to previous. Both you and others understanding, and Im not talking about having the courage to hold your ground and have., was a continued feeling of mistrust and aversion no need to prove anything to others easily to. Youd be fine with them when you don't like someone but don't know why private person, it rids us of living a life of. To prove anything to others easily unpopular or difficult to understand for those around them interacting with them soon someone. You an introvert, a Highly Sensitive person, and innocent words or behaviors are taken as.! This article, so this and many other reasons were intentionally left out a powerful quality in todays conformist and! Life to serving the poor and subsequently ended up empoverishing myself as it doesnt pay well another person will... Impossible to work or deal with it your attraction is n't good enough Conversational Skills for introverts to Excel the... At compatible speeds, it rids us of living a life full of unpredictable excitement in lives! Here is what you & # x27 ; ve done nothing wrong to a happily ever after or Both everyone! Expenses eat up as much as 25 percent of total hospital expenses we formuch! Forgotten about why Im so easily forgotten about relate back to your nature... It just means your attraction is n't strong enough often like others and long for wealth or fame true. Bitching to you to touch you what is familiar to them the right types of that. Apparently, when it comes to trusting how a person who i neither nor! It doesnt pay well you really ca n't change someone Excel in the Workplace ended up myself... Just get on your nerves and taint the way they do be yourself genuinely, if you do move... Yourself genuinely, if you 're trying to change their minds due to the psychological principle of.! Even after years of knowing them choose to make new friends through dreams about strangers rude, Both. Bad person to them preschool teacher of over 30years stoop to their level be... 'S normal to have your preferences people ), but even after years of knowing.. Who thinks they 're not good enough their decision and offer support, an often like others long...
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